Now after hearing the title of this post, the Little Boy would remind me that we should not use the word "stupid", because as he would say "If you call yourself stupid you can hurt your own feelings." Which he actually did once, and of course he cried because he had hurt his own feelings, but I digress. So with the stress of the week, I've been trying to be good, not eat any of the literally tons of delicious looking wheat products that have been brought over by friends. I've been good, my Beautiful Wife has been the dutiful Wheat Nazi. She sees me looking at the cake or pie longingly and gives me a smile and then says "No Wheat for You!". So yesterday, I thought, what the heck, I've been good, we are out and about at Disneyland and I've been walking for three hours, an order of McDonald's French Fries will taste good and can't hurt me too much. Even though I've seen Super Size Me and have read Fast Food Nation, I was about to rationalize this as something "okay" (imagine I used quotation fingers right then). First off, let me warn you, Disneyland only has the Super Size me, Meal Replacement, is that a bucket or a cartoon of French Fries size. So I eat what I later find out to be 580 calories worth of french fries. Now to give you a comparison on this, a In-N-Out Double Double Protein Style is 520 calories. Yeah, I know, right! So I eat this gianormous container of fries and they taste good and everything-thing. Then about 20 minutes later my stomach starts to hurt. I recognize this particular pain, this is the you've eaten wheat and now you must pay pain, I know it to well. So I have a little talk with my body about this.
 
Me: Dude, I just ate french fries, potatos, you know POTATOS, no wheat really!
Body: We are inclined to disagree, there was wheat in that last meal in which you partook.
Me: No Man, they were french fries, you know Frenchie Fries, the stuff you loved as a kid.
Body: Well I'm not going to argue with you, especially when I am right, I tell you what, when we get home tonight, go online and look up what was in those "french fries", that is all.

So I did look it up, if you can spend the ten minutes it takes to navigation McDonald's site, you will find the nutrional information and ingredients for most of the food. So I looked up Large French Fries of course what did I find "Contains derivatives of wheat and dairy." D'oh, Stupid French Fries!

Yesterday was one of those really tough days, that was at the end of a really tough week. Actually a really tough couple of weeks. So let me go back to the beginning and we will work up to yesterday. The Sunday before last I left for Vegas with my good friend and co-worker Ed. We went to DevConnections. He took the SQL track and I took the ASP.NET track. It was some really great and intense sessions. I learned a lot about the new ASP.NET 2.0 stuff and about Microsoft AJAX. Microsoft AJAX makes developing an AJAX application so much easier. Las Vegas is not my kind of town. The only things in town I was looking forward to were the Ansel Adams exhibit at the Bellagio. (So worth the $15) and GM The Drive (So worth the $10). Most people go to Vegas to drink, gamble, see a show and over eat. Well I don't drink, I definitely don't gamble, I have no interest in the shows and I am still trying (trying is the operative word there) to lose weight. So our evenings were in the hotel room waiting for it to be time to talk with our wives. That is how most of our week went.  I missed my Beautiful Wife the whole week. I am one of those guys that are completely in love with their wife. I wrote her emails everyday, talked with her on the phone a couple times a day and it just wasn't enough. I only sleep about 4 to 5 hours a night at the most when I'm not with her. However I wasn't scheduled to get back Friday night. I had a Friday workshop that I was looking for and I was glad it was schedule last hoping that the information would really sink in. However Thursday afternoon I got a call.

The call was from Brother K, I could tell by his tone it wasn't good news. Two minutes later I get a call from Brother J, he tells me the same thing that Brother K did. Grandma K is in the hospital. I won't go in to details but it wasn't good, it really wasn't good. So for the next two hours I was on the phone, finding out what was going on, where things were at with Grandma K. Finally my Beautiful Wife said the words I was waiting for and needed someone to say. "Russ, I think you need to come home." I talked with Ed and as good friends always do, he was ready to drive back to LA. He had a class on Friday too, but he was kind enough to deem my emergency, his emergency. So like the song we were "Leaving Las Vegas". I thanked him all the way home, and it still doesn't seem like I've thanked him enough. Ed did a great job of keeping my mind off of the topic at hand and on music, or whatever, you know, I was just trying really hard not to breakdown and cry in the car. We get to my house just a little after 11:30pm. Considering we left at 7:00pm, we made good time. unfortunately poor Ed still had another hour to go before he got home.

Friday Morning I went to the hospital and to see my Grandma in the ICU. Again, I won't go into detail, those of you that have visited loved ones in the ICU know what it looks like, and those of you that haven't, well I'm happy for you. Its not the kind of place you want to hang out in. But that is exactly what we did. For the next four days, we were either at the hospital or at my Mom and Dads house. It's amazing how every moment was painful, yet it was all a blur. The days melted into each other, and I had a hard time keeping them straight all week. Strange enough early on during this time, I discovered something. I could never be a professional photographer. By now you know I love photography. As I watched my Granddad K kissing my Grandma K while she lay in the ICU, it was real and truly beautiful moment in life. However I couldn't of taken the shot. I couldn't take a shot that would of caused the family so much pain to see later, and I didn't want to take a photo of her in that condition. The next day we talked as a family and all decided we didn't want any photos of her like that.

You try to be strong, for yourself and those around you, family, friends, but somehow I still ended up being the cliche` of the distressed family member crying in the parking lot of the hospital. I must say that through this whole experience, my Beautiful Wife as amazing, supportive and caring of not only me, but my whole family. She would visit Grandma K during the day, and evenings with me and when I went to work, she would still visit her during the day.

Yesterday, I left work early to go to the eye doctor. I had that wonderful experience of getting my eyes dilated. After coming home I took a little nap. (What else could I do it, wasn't like I could see anything.) Around 5:30pm, I started getting really antsy, I felt like I needed to go visit Grandma K. The day before she had been moved from the hospital to a hospice facility that was closer to my house. So I started getting ready to go, it was taking longer than usually, because of my eyes. But I figured I'd be ready by 6:00pm and that would be soon enough. At 5:53pm that house phone rings, now I never answer the house phone, my Beautiful Wife does, 30 second later my Dad calls my mobile phone. On different phones at the same time my Beautiful Wife and I learned that my Grandma K had passed away. After a week of struggling and fighting her body had lost the battle. And now we are at a loss. My Wife and I rush over to the hospice and into her room. A few minutes later my Dad and Granddad K are there too, as well as a family friend. We stroke her hair, and silently say our goodbyes. We spend the next 30 to 45 minutes calling different people and telling them, this person that we loved so dearly, and loved us too, is gone. Those were some of the hardest phone calls I've ever had to make.

It had really been an emotion rollercoaster of a week. With each test she underwent there was hope and despair and everything in between. After a week of her fighting and suffering there is some peace in knowing that she is no longer suffering, that she is in God's memory, and He will not forget her. On the other hand my heart hurts, literally and figuratively. I know it will heal in time, but it truly hurts now. Next month my Grandma and Granddad K would have been married 60 years. I hurt for Granddad and his loss. I can't even imagine how he feels. He knows that she is in God's memory too. I know that this comforts him as well.

Today was hard, but not as hard as yesterday. We did those necessary things that one has to do when a loved one dies. Again, I won't get into the details. However there is one thing I worked on today I will talk about, the program for Grandma's Memorial service.  In fact I spent several hours on working on it. I wanted it to be just right. Its not easy trying to summarize such a wonderful persons life and personality in 11 X 8.5. While it was hard to do, it was also theraputic in a way. Don't get me wrong I'm not suggesting that everyone go out and do it, but it did help me and give me some closure (I hate using such a cliche` word, but I don't know of another way to put it).

Here is a little excerpt from it that lets you know what kind of person my Grandma K was in a sentence.

Grandma K never met anyone who couldn't use a hug, and she was always happy to give them one.

I miss you Grandma.

This is my Grandparents Wedding photo. They got married 3 weeks after they meet. Next Month is their 60th wedding anniversary. They make me believe in True Love.

Sunday night I started what is called a Moblog or Mobile Web Log. While I was in Las Vegas, it was important to me to be able to share what I was seeing with my Beautiful Wife and Family. If you are so inclined check it out. Adventures in Real Life Moblog

Well today I'm leaving for Las Vegas for this years Devconnections. I'll be taking the ASP.NET track and am really looking forward to learning the ins and outs of ASP.NET 2.0. I've dedicated my track of learn to AJAX. I know that it's the Web 2.0 buzz word, but there is something there. When you can use it as a design tool I feel that you can really add to the user experience. Well as I learn, I'll share, so I'll do my best to post some example from Vegas this week.

Happy Coding

So as I'm sure you can tell from me previous posts, I am working on getting healthier. I have a phsyical coming up next month and of course have to get my blood drawn next week for the lab work. So like anyone in my position I am studying for me blood test. However being the geek that I am I want a way to measure what I'm eating and how my exercise affects that, and I want to keep track of it online. Well after a quick google search, volia, The DailyPlate. This thing is great, almost anything you'd eat is already in their database, and if it isn't, you can added it and use it immediately. It's a great site. I think of it like flickr for my food. You can sign up and use the site for free, or you can be come a gold member for $29.95 a year.

As I mentioned before I am working on riding more. I just finished the Long Beach Marathon Bike Tour, and that was so much fun. However I had to train for it, and being a geek I need to have a away to keep track of my mileage. So I started using Google spreadsheet. This works just like Microsoft Excel, so I have it caculate my distance for the week and keep a running total of mileage. I can see what weeks I did good and what weeks I did not so good. It really helps. And somehow for me looking at the spreadsheet with a lot of blank spaces makes me want to go out and ride some more.